Update Pictures- I'm intending to do this blogging thing more often now...

 Here are a few pictures from the last year. Most are from the wedding day...

Our wedding peeps

Swing dancing with my papa and laughing at my attempt to not trip or fall on my dress.

Before the reception

Grandpa Boots!

Mark and I in Oregon

JUST WRITE!

I don't believe people should apologize before they do something. It honestly makes me not want to spend my time on something they are apologizing for in advance. Countless times in church, I've heard people apologize for a talk they are about to give. It takes every ounce of my will power not to tune them out. Not to mention, most of the time they apologize, they really have prepared a fantastic talk. Own it!

However, I may or may not want to apologize for any that might read this. I'm going to own it and I've been wanting to write for a while- I just haven't. I've been pregnant for 19? or so weeks. I honestly don't religiously keep track like many do. I have to flip through the calendar on my phone and count week by week. I probably should keep track since this baby is so very much a honeymoon baby that if I'm not careful with announcing what week I'm on, people might get the idea that this baby is a pre-wedding baby. He or she is certainly a pre-honeymoon baby since our honeymoon was 2 months after we got married!

 The reason I feel an apology is almost necessary is because I was an English Ed. major. I believe writing should be worked on. It should be read over multiple times and changed as drastically as I want to change it. Eventually, it should be edited and then changed some more. A lack of time or motivation to make this entry into a sparkly gem of work is why I want to apologize- not to mention my complete lack of stellar writing since I graduated. I should make writing something worth reading my next 30-day goal. (This idea was inspired by this TED talk. http://www.ted.com/talks/lang/en/matt_cutts_try_something_new_for_30_days.html) Also, I'm impressed by many people I know who write casually- but extremely well. Yes, I know the only way to reach that level is to write, so, that's what I'll do.

Pregnancy has been entertaining thus far. I'm at the point where people who don't know me, wouldn't feel the urge to ask me if I'm pregnant. And thankfully, when I tell many, they are still surprised. They'll act shocked and tell me that I certainly don't look it. That's a wonderful feeling. (In fact, Janae and I came up with a deal. When I'm nine months pregnant, she's going to ask me if I'm pregnant and act shocked when I tell her that I am.)

 Pregnancy provides for dreams every night. This has made my nights so much more enjoyable. The other night I went swimming- and more often than not people that I haven't seen for years are in my dreams. I try to get in contact with those people and talk with them on the phone after the dreams. I've never had a dream that actually meant something, but maybe it's a sign that I should talk with my dream people in real life. Or maybe that's just a pleasant side-effect.

 Pregnancy has taken over my body. I don't have as much control over myself as I used to. I get tired, heat kinda makes me sick, and a little baby sometimes kicks my insides! I also didn't know how much a growing belly would affect me. I'm pregnant for goodness sake! However, sometimes I am repulsed by my belly! My reaction is so interesting to me! I know it's the wrong one- but how to change it and love my changing growing body? :) That, I haven't quite figured out. I just assume that one day I'll look in a mirror and think that it is beautiful. That's my plan for now.

 Pregnancy has also allowed me to enter into a whole new world of birthing stories. Actually, I take that back. I've already heard my share of birthing stories in the company of many women before, but now, there's no holding back. When people find out I'm pregnant, the stories, whether they're good or bad, start flying. I've come to enjoy this bonding. As strange as I admit it was in the beginning, I love the way people open up instantly to a story that I assume they don't just tell everyone. It is a shared experience that only women can have, and I'm learning to embrace it. Not too mention- a lot of these stories are highly entertaining!

 Pregnancy has taught me a lot about my identity and who I thought I was. The fact that I can't do extreme sports or run extreme distances or do anything really outdoorsy crazy had affected me. It's summer! Those things are a part of me- but they aren't me. It's been interesting learning that. I know it on a surface level, but I've never had to experience it. (Of course I know I can still do physical activities and enjoy nature etc- I just can't do everything that I want to.)

 Pregnancy has taught me the goodness of people. People are so willing to carry the heavy stuff (which I want to carry), or buy us baby stuff. Sam's work gave us a basket of baby stuff and a card. People are just incredibly generous. It's especially taught me the goodness of mothers. Who knew they had to deal with so much discomfort in body and mind (and I'm only 19ish weeks!)? I certainly didn't, nor did I appreciate it. However, I certainly do now! Bless all you mothers out there.

 I've just realize that this is quite the introspective journal entry. It's amazing to me how many incorrect or off-kilter thoughts I can have in a single day! I hope that my accurate and uplifting thoughts outweigh the wrong ones! I also hope I don't come across as a super-whiny pregnant lady. Writing is where I put my thoughts- and I don't typically tell them (especially the negative or semi-negative ones) to other people as a general rule. Hopefully, my thoughts aren't all whiny either!

Sam has been so good to me. He reminds me constantly that I am beautiful and wonderful and great etc.

 Now comes the ending. I have nothing clever to say and nothing to wrap it all together in a nice package. I could write something elementary like "pregnancy has taught me many things" to finish it off. Or maybe look up a joke on the internet. This all reminds me of how human I am and how unorganized the brain really is. Maybe I'll just think about it some more and finish this later.