It's times like these, I really wish I knew where my camera was. I'm currently sitting in the chair I normally migrate to in the morning. I'm sitting in Brother James' home, not  being lazy but, "making a baby." That's what my Relief Society President said I should say if I feel lazy.

A deer and her two fawns have walked past the window twice. That's normal for Rawlins. The deer and antelope here are like stray dogs in South America. They're everywhere. At least I'm not afraid these animals are going to rip my face off. 


As I sit here, not being lazy, I think about the future. In four months, we're going to have a baby! (Speaking of baby, we found out that the baby is 80% girl... we couldn't exactly tell from the ultrasound.) We're going to move to Evanston, visit home for a week, go on a pioneer trek, start a new job with three weeks of training, start Sam's first full-time student semester, take birthing classes. Oh, and Sam is going on a jaunt to Hawaii as well (at my insistence).  I'm excited by the prospect of newness. 


(How is it that I am an English major? My compositions almost never flow logically..) I was recently reminded by how important life is. We found out on Tuesday that Sam's mission president had unexpectedly passed away. It was a shock to us- and the President's family as well. 

People are what is important in life. 

I am so glad to have married someone who understands that. Sam values people more than many I know. We drove to Utah to see our friend for the last time before she goes on a mission for a year and a half. We went for people. Sam hung out with and still frequently talks to his friends that many others would purposefully avoid. He helps people move he doesn't know. I had the chance to listen to him at work the other day. I called him, and I'm not sure if he meant to answer, but he did. Well, answered the phone- but not me. I was able to listen to him talking with customers and serving them. He is good at what he does. 


That's enough of my unorganized thoughts for now! 

Us at an Ugly Sweater Party 2011

Aunt Nancy

There are just some people in life that significantly impress you practically the instant you meet them. 

I am lucky to be related to many of them. 

One such woman is my new aunt, Aunt Nancy. She is one of those people that I want most to be like in this world. 

Just meeting her, you know she loves you. That love she has is not exclusive either. She shows that toward everyone she meets and converses with. The first time I met her, I felt as though she adored me- and it wasn't forced or fake. That's just who she is. 

I could go on and on about this magnificent woman. She is a light to everyone who has been lucky enough to know her. She is incredibly talented. She is one of the most positive people I've ever known. She has had many more trials than I'm sure I know about, and I only know about them because I'm related to her close family. My sincere gushing could go on and on. 

I love this wonderful woman and hope to become more and more like her.

July 11, 2012 Whining Old Women

I can finally say that I semi-understand all the old men and women that whine about their aches and pains all the time. It just happens to be the most prominent news (from their point of view) that they and only they are experts in. We all enjoy being experts from time to time and when pain is such a major part of your day, it's rather hard to ignore. 

Of course, we've all learned in Sunday School to look on the bright side of things. It makes life better for everyone.

Instead of whining about these crazy little things I've come to learn are migraines, I will concentrate on how great life is when migraines don't take you out of the game completely.  

This past weekend my parents and brother drove down from Washington to visit Sam and I and Jemima (my pre-birth baby name- it'll change as soon as Sam and I agree upon something else) in Rawlins. It was so good to see them. It's amazing how much more value time seems to have when you have less of it. We enjoyed eating together, talking together, playing games together, taking a prison tour together, traveling together, going the Music and the Spoken Word together and simply being (while I had a migraine) in the hotel together.  (Sorry, no pictures- I can't find my camera anywhere!!!)

It was so nice being with my family. Just thinking about it makes me smile.  I admire each of them for so many reasons. 

My papa is such a hard worker. He is always doing something to improve himself and to learn. He is never bored. I love that about him. I love how excited he is about the baby. Practically, the first thing he asked me when he got to Rawlins was if he could touch my belly. Ha! I still find that to be a strange request. He wanted to feel the baby moving. Finally, on Sunday, he got the chance to feel it move. :) Made me happy.

My mama is the best mother I could've asked for. She loves me (and all her children) so much. You can just tell by what she does for us. This weekend she brought Sam and I our first baby gifts. She brought the softest blanket I think I've ever felt. I think I've looked at and felt it everyday since she gave it to me. It makes me feel loved. She was so good to me when my migraine hit. Just my mother's presence in such occasions as this makes me feel better in some measure. I don't know if it's the magical mother presence or if she had to learn that- either way, I appreciate it so much. She also has so many other talents that I'm trying to figure out-- one day perhaps I will. 

Mark makes me happy. He is so serviceable and kind and funny and good to the people around him. I just love being around him. In fact, that might be one of my favorite things about him. I do honestly miss being around him more often. He brightens up my life and makes me think more than anyone else I know.  I miss "fighting" with him. We argue about things we both don't care about, or he'll rile me up about something or another because he can. I miss that too! 

Sam- whoa! Today is our 5 month anniversary! He is incredibly kind and patient and gentle. He amazes me with so many of his good qualities. I am incredibly blessed to be married to him. He refuses to argue with me even when I'm in an argue-about-nothing kind of moods. He goes to work at 5:15 so we can have insurance and deals with truckers yelling at him daily. When I had my migraine in SLC and I needed something to eat, he went to Wendy's at least 3 times to get the chili and baked potato I requested. They were out of both, and then the third time he had to return and get the car because only the drive-thru was open. Awesome. 

Since I didn't have a camera when the family came, this is Sam and I on our cruise.. not sure what's going on exactly...

 

Update Pictures- I'm intending to do this blogging thing more often now...

 Here are a few pictures from the last year. Most are from the wedding day...

Our wedding peeps

Swing dancing with my papa and laughing at my attempt to not trip or fall on my dress.

Before the reception

Grandpa Boots!

Mark and I in Oregon

JUST WRITE!

I don't believe people should apologize before they do something. It honestly makes me not want to spend my time on something they are apologizing for in advance. Countless times in church, I've heard people apologize for a talk they are about to give. It takes every ounce of my will power not to tune them out. Not to mention, most of the time they apologize, they really have prepared a fantastic talk. Own it!

However, I may or may not want to apologize for any that might read this. I'm going to own it and I've been wanting to write for a while- I just haven't. I've been pregnant for 19? or so weeks. I honestly don't religiously keep track like many do. I have to flip through the calendar on my phone and count week by week. I probably should keep track since this baby is so very much a honeymoon baby that if I'm not careful with announcing what week I'm on, people might get the idea that this baby is a pre-wedding baby. He or she is certainly a pre-honeymoon baby since our honeymoon was 2 months after we got married!

 The reason I feel an apology is almost necessary is because I was an English Ed. major. I believe writing should be worked on. It should be read over multiple times and changed as drastically as I want to change it. Eventually, it should be edited and then changed some more. A lack of time or motivation to make this entry into a sparkly gem of work is why I want to apologize- not to mention my complete lack of stellar writing since I graduated. I should make writing something worth reading my next 30-day goal. (This idea was inspired by this TED talk. http://www.ted.com/talks/lang/en/matt_cutts_try_something_new_for_30_days.html) Also, I'm impressed by many people I know who write casually- but extremely well. Yes, I know the only way to reach that level is to write, so, that's what I'll do.

Pregnancy has been entertaining thus far. I'm at the point where people who don't know me, wouldn't feel the urge to ask me if I'm pregnant. And thankfully, when I tell many, they are still surprised. They'll act shocked and tell me that I certainly don't look it. That's a wonderful feeling. (In fact, Janae and I came up with a deal. When I'm nine months pregnant, she's going to ask me if I'm pregnant and act shocked when I tell her that I am.)

 Pregnancy provides for dreams every night. This has made my nights so much more enjoyable. The other night I went swimming- and more often than not people that I haven't seen for years are in my dreams. I try to get in contact with those people and talk with them on the phone after the dreams. I've never had a dream that actually meant something, but maybe it's a sign that I should talk with my dream people in real life. Or maybe that's just a pleasant side-effect.

 Pregnancy has taken over my body. I don't have as much control over myself as I used to. I get tired, heat kinda makes me sick, and a little baby sometimes kicks my insides! I also didn't know how much a growing belly would affect me. I'm pregnant for goodness sake! However, sometimes I am repulsed by my belly! My reaction is so interesting to me! I know it's the wrong one- but how to change it and love my changing growing body? :) That, I haven't quite figured out. I just assume that one day I'll look in a mirror and think that it is beautiful. That's my plan for now.

 Pregnancy has also allowed me to enter into a whole new world of birthing stories. Actually, I take that back. I've already heard my share of birthing stories in the company of many women before, but now, there's no holding back. When people find out I'm pregnant, the stories, whether they're good or bad, start flying. I've come to enjoy this bonding. As strange as I admit it was in the beginning, I love the way people open up instantly to a story that I assume they don't just tell everyone. It is a shared experience that only women can have, and I'm learning to embrace it. Not too mention- a lot of these stories are highly entertaining!

 Pregnancy has taught me a lot about my identity and who I thought I was. The fact that I can't do extreme sports or run extreme distances or do anything really outdoorsy crazy had affected me. It's summer! Those things are a part of me- but they aren't me. It's been interesting learning that. I know it on a surface level, but I've never had to experience it. (Of course I know I can still do physical activities and enjoy nature etc- I just can't do everything that I want to.)

 Pregnancy has taught me the goodness of people. People are so willing to carry the heavy stuff (which I want to carry), or buy us baby stuff. Sam's work gave us a basket of baby stuff and a card. People are just incredibly generous. It's especially taught me the goodness of mothers. Who knew they had to deal with so much discomfort in body and mind (and I'm only 19ish weeks!)? I certainly didn't, nor did I appreciate it. However, I certainly do now! Bless all you mothers out there.

 I've just realize that this is quite the introspective journal entry. It's amazing to me how many incorrect or off-kilter thoughts I can have in a single day! I hope that my accurate and uplifting thoughts outweigh the wrong ones! I also hope I don't come across as a super-whiny pregnant lady. Writing is where I put my thoughts- and I don't typically tell them (especially the negative or semi-negative ones) to other people as a general rule. Hopefully, my thoughts aren't all whiny either!

Sam has been so good to me. He reminds me constantly that I am beautiful and wonderful and great etc.

 Now comes the ending. I have nothing clever to say and nothing to wrap it all together in a nice package. I could write something elementary like "pregnancy has taught me many things" to finish it off. Or maybe look up a joke on the internet. This all reminds me of how human I am and how unorganized the brain really is. Maybe I'll just think about it some more and finish this later.